Thursday, August 6, 2015

but really - Fiskars are my favorite

Oh guys tonight we had to deliver impromptu speeches in Public Speaking class and I hurt my throat ranting about Fiskars scissors:

Let me explain.

My question was why the pizza man's greatest tool is a pair of scissors. Everyone had individual topics and we had 10 minutes to prepare. My two strengths are hyperbole and outrage so I pretended to be a PizzaMan Emeritus talking to the PizzaMan Graduates.

I ranted on about clipping customer coupons and extolled the virtues of titanium scissors while scorning mangled coupon codes. I kept raising my voice as I told them they deserved the best scissors and then said:

"so get yourselves to Office Depot, get yourselves to Staples, get yourselves to a REPUTABLE OFFICE SUPPLY STORE!"

and on Office Supply store I hurt my voice.

Turns out I don't yell as much anymore and I have very strong opinions on office supplies.