Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Snoop broke Epic Rap Battles

So back in the 90s I was sure Snoop was going to be murdered. Tupac and Biggies were dead and Snoop was the next big rapper. He did something right though because we celebrated the decade old deaths, there were multiple movies and Biggie's son is acting with pseudo funny people.

The next time I noticed Snoop he was on a reality show with his family. I saw the episode where his doctor told him to watch his diet so his wife was following strict instructions. Snoop got one of his friends to sneak fried chicken into the garage. His wife found out and there was much disharmony. I realized why no one bothered trying to murder him.

Over the years it keeps getting wackier:
  • He stopped using drugs for a while and his eyes became three times as big.
  • He converted to a weird religion.
  • Drugs came back and he changed his name to Snoop Lion.
Now he is in the latest Epic Rap Battle and man is it awful:

Epic rap battles are hilarious because the guys acting are so over the top. They get angry, they take things personally and when things fully mellow out they are not afraid to call in eagles:

or pit Gates against Jobs:

or everyone's favorite Hitler vs. Darth Vader:

Ok I am back after that half hour detour into epic rap battles!

So Snoop is a big name so landing him was kind of a coup but he's just not angry enough. His beefs have always been mellow little ditties and he doesn't get as ridiculous as he should. This Santa/Snoop matchup was definitely one of the worst rap battles this season.