Wednesday, November 2, 2011

on Family Perspective

"We don't see the world as it is. We see the world as we are."

I spent most of my twenties estranged or barely acknowledging family except at major holidays. Now that I am in my thirties all that avoidance has caught up and Present Anny has decisions to make.

As I mentioned, my dad stayed with me for a week last month. It was great having him around to fix stuff and ask how my work day went. I liked feeling taken care of and as is my mote; slipped into Daughter Mode in order to meet his own expectations of me.

In talking about familial expectations yesterday an important question was asked. "Is it what you want or what your family wants?"

Ever since gaining the age of reason I haven't stopped to consider if what my family wants is simply folly. I've wrestled with being american and dominican for years and tried to reconcile the two using empathy and a whole lot of forgiveness. I've never stopped to look at either side and say "but is this what I want?"

Its been easy to turn down what I perceive as Family Quirks. I've never even thought to question Societal Quirks; just explain them away.

I guess its time to change my world by shifting my perspective on it.


Alicia said...

It's tough to deal with family matters. Myself I've had some tough years in dealing with the divorce of my parents after 50 years of marriage. Sides were taken unfortunately, my mother came to live with me and my life has changed drastically.

I've come to the realization that I will do what I can when it comes to family. I will not do everything THEY want and I will not be guilted into giving more than I can. I've just come to that realization within the past couple of months so we will see how it plays out with the holidays approaching!