Sunday, December 5, 2010

Let us all Sigh Audibly and frequently

and they were all called Warner Brother
As you guys know (and have certainly been mourning since Turkey Day) Warner Brothers is going forwards on a BtVS movie sans Joss, any of the original writers or actors.

I don't normally wish ill on anyone other than FOX but this merits an exception. I hope WB and their fanfic hack writers develop horrible coughs - the kind that linger and bring phlegm along for the ride. I also hope this movie bankrupts them.

This was our Beloved Joss' reaction to the news:

I'm glad you asked for my thoughts on the announcement of Buffy the cinema film.  This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths—just because they can't think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.

Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, "Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson?  This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER."  Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, "I'll make a mint!  This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!" Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?

I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death.  But, you know, AFTER.  I don't love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I'm also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can't wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I'm making a Batman movie.  Because there's a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More

Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.
Leave me to my pain!  Sincerely, Joss Whedon. 
As I told my roommate, the only thing that could make this worse is casting Felicia Day in this disaster. If she has ANYTHING to do with this movie I will have to burn something.


Mandi said...

Dude, his response is classy, witty, and awesome.

How in the world can they cut him out??