Wednesday, April 21, 2010

ACK my teeth are NAKED!

So my braces came off today and I DON'T LIKE IT! The ortho and I waffled for a few appointments, trying to decide when they were ready to pop off but I wasn't prepared for it to happen today.

I had the ceramic upper and lower brackets as well as that cursed power chain and metal bands at the back. The ortho used a nail clipper looking tool and a few of the brackets cracked while being removed. It wasn't painful, just a different kind of pressure and disconcerting.

You never want to feel/hear *ANYTHING* crack inside your mouth!

The ortho then proceeded to scrape off the glue with that spinning power tool I cringe at. This part sucked for very obvious reasons. The great news is that despite 1 1/2 years of drinking soda, enjoying tea and even Doritos there doesn't seem to be any staining!

Then I had a three hour window while they made the retainer. I was (of course) widely smiling while doing some nearby shopping and was complimented by two strangers on my smile!!! Little did I realize my carefree, naked teeth ways were rapidly coming to a close.

My gums were kind of swollen and I had some minor bleeding when the braces came off but that was rinsed away. While I didn't feel an alleviation of pressure when the braces came off (probably because I was so tense from the subsequent cleaning) the retainer felt ridiculously tight when snapped on. My gums started bleeding again and by the time I got home the clear retainer was so full of blood it looked like part of a Halloween costume! *cringe*

Once I got home I celebrated with honey bbq wings and a subsequently thorough, (comparatively) fast and enjoyable flossing! Then I brushed my teeth with the Sonicare and my teeth felt so SMALL! My brushead touches both sides of the teeth when brushing the tops!

But the reason why I'm unhappy right now? I have a horrible, terrible, speech impediment sounding lisp :(

The retainer is having a field day with my overbite! I'm trying to figure out how to speak without having my mouth well up with saliva after each sentence. Also, I had to call an automated service earlier and had to remove the retainer because the machine couldn't understand me.

I remember how down I was after the bottom braces came on and I know I'll get accustomed to this too but right now I'm unhappy.

On the upside my teeth look great and I'm very happy with the end result. I just miss my braces. I had them for a while and was so happy with them that they became part of my identity, as weird as that sounds. Having a retainer is nowhere as cool as having braces!

So after being so bummed by my retainer I went to YouTube looking for advice on the thing. I found a bunch of emo teens and this porn star. *HAHAHAHAHAHA* A porn star with braces is like a runner with a peg leg, right?


Ryan said...

Geez, and here I thought we just had to worry about zippers ;)

Glad you like the new teeth though.

Lawgirl said...

Do you have to wear the retainer all of the time?

Mandi said...

So you won't show us a picture of those gorg teeth then?